Monday, March 29, 2010

Drunken posting. Never good. There'll be a more balanced review of what's happening in a few days, when I'm on holidays.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I'm starting to realise that there's a lot about me that I don't like.

In times of stress, I eat junk. Crap, crap, crap. Processed food, chocolate, sweets and alcohol. When I'm more balanced, then so is my diet.

I also hate my approach to personal relationships. I am so gung-ho. If someone shows the least bit of interest, then in my mind that's it forever. Picket fence, dogs and so on. I must appear so incredibly needy and clingy.

I hate that I'm like this. I honestly don't know what I can do to change.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Well there's a post in me somewhere, but until I stop thinking and behaving like a teenager I've decided not to write stuff down. Until then...

Sunday, March 07, 2010

This update short and bitter - I guess that's the opposite of short and sweet...

Actually I'm not feeling bitter really - just stating a fact. My state of mind is somewhere between being slightly fed up and marginally bored.

It's the morning after Mardi Gras. I'm sure all over Sydney friends old and new are either sleeping or carrying on to the next load of fun and frolics. Good for them. Not all of us do that. I certainly used to, but it seems my life has moved away from that lifestyle, and whilst I don't always miss it, on days like these I'd like to feel at least a little more part of it. The people I've hung out with over the last few years are either out, out of town, out of my friend loop or out of their gourds. :) Not a single person has been in touch with me today, and that realisation that I'm not a priority for anyone hurts a bit. I haven't spoken to other people as I know mostly they are out and about spending time with different friends or significant others. I've kind of fallen through the cracks. I used to fit in. Or at least more accurately I made more of an effort to be a part of it all. Now I don't, and I'm realising how quickly one gets forgotten.

As I said, not bitter - just how it seems right now. OK, off for a walk. :)

P.S. And after the walk, can I just say that on the one weekend of the year when I'm meant to feel 'a part of it all', I've never felt so alone and removed from it all. Bed soon. Things'll be better after some sleep.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

And verily it became March. Autumn in Sydney is one of my favourite times, and I can already feel a little more of a chill in the air in the mornings and evenings telling me it's on the way :)

I failed to remain free of vices for February. Garry whom I use to live with here came over for a visit and it seemed churlish to stay sober so I didn't. Along with Muz we had a scream of a night and it was well worth the sacrifice.

In other news there's not a great deal to report. School is fun but hard work as always. I have a busy month ahead as I need to finish all my programming for school and also finish off my professional accreditation. Head down Dave! And no, sadly not in that way...

I've almost given up on the apartment hunting. Things seem to be getting more expensive by the second, and the exchange rate is working against me for bringing some cash over from the UK. We'll see. But don't hold your breath.

I've been hanging out with a couple of new people, which is great. However one in particular I quite like but they don't want a relationship and so it remains a little bit weird and a challenge. It's also a bit strange at the moment as everyone else is caught up in Mardi Gras madness, whereas I'm at home working on school stuff. It's not even that I want to do the Mardi Gras stuff. I'd just like to have someone to not do it with.

That'll do for now. Don't expect much in the way of updates til my birthday day - which also coincides with the end of term and the Easter break. Til then... :)